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Rohith's avatar

At what age did you start living independently?

Asked by Rohith (403points) November 28th, 2018

In India there is every chance that children will live with their parents for entire life if not relocated to other city / state due to job or education. What is the average age / stage when a youngster starts living independently in your country? I had read somewhere that the bar is increasing nowadays because of higher living costs/ costly education. Was there such time in Western countries as well when children used to live with the parents like they do here? Did it change after WWI or before that? That’s one of major differences between these two cultures / way of living.

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14 Answers

seawulf575's avatar

I started making decisions for myself while I was still living with mom and dad. I moved out about 3 months after my 18th birthday. I moved in with some friends for about a year and then got my own apartment. Never moved back in with mom and dad after that.

JLeslie's avatar

I’m in America.

If you count going away to university then I left my parents’ house at 19. But, at 18 I had already started local college and stayed part of the time with my boyfriend. Actually, I think I might have started staying with him at 17, but I still technically lived with my parents until I left for university. My parents paid for my college education, so I was not financially independent, but I was not living with them anymore, I was a few states away (a 10 hour drive).

After college I moved home for a few months, then moved to Florida to start my career down there. I was 22. I didn’t have a job yet, but stayed with my cousin a couple of months, during which time I found a job, and then a friend a couple of more weeks and then moved in with a roommate.

In my country it varies, but most kids graduate high school at 18 and then either go to college or start working. It’s assumed after high school “kids” will be moving out of their parents home fairly quickly. If they don’t live at school, then the kids might live at their parents home all 4 years of college, and then at age 22 start the process to move out.

I say process, because whether it’s after high school or college, the kids first need to find a job, and then they might save for a few months, then finally move out.

In some families the kids stay much longer. It isn’t very uncommon for a 23 or 24 year old to still live at home, but after 25 people would find it unusual here, unless it’s a unique situation, but the expectation would be that the young adult is able to financially live on their own, even if for some reason they aren’t. On their own can be with a roommate, some cities are very expensive.

Again, it varies though. America is made up of many different cultures, and new immigrant families especially, sometimes have different practices. I’ve had Italian friends who lived at home until age 30. My husband’s Mexican family has an expectation of being dependant on parents until you get married, but his sister who raised her kids in America since ages 5 and 2, was happy to have her kids move out as soon as they could.

In fact, to me it seemed she was pushing for it more than the average American. Maybe because she hadn’t liked the expectation of having to stay with her parents until marriage. Even though “staying” with her parents included living in their American house if she felt like it (the parents still lived in Mexico back then) or going to finishing school in Switzerland, and then traveling several weeks through Europe. She finally got married at age 25.

I don’t know how common that expectation is in Mexico. It probably is different now, my SIL is in her late 50’s. It also probably varies depending on social class.

KNOWITALL's avatar

I moved out at 17. I did move in my grandparents farm after a big break up around 25 but not for long. Most of my friends moved out by college. Independence is an admirable trait for many people in the US.

rojo's avatar

It was not a clear cut time or event.
Parents started giving some independence in thought and action in high school (15 – 18).

Went to college but had parental help with loans and other financial support but decisions regarding how and what lifestyle were mine. Over this time period gradually became fully independent both mentally and financially (18 – 21).

Then got married and sacrificed some independence for love, companionship and responsibility to family (21 – present).

kritiper's avatar

16, after my dad kicked me out because my hair was too long.

seawulf575's avatar

@KNOWITALL Independence USED to be an admirable trait in the US of A. Now, I think, it is becoming more normal to live with your parents well into adulthood.

raum's avatar

I left home for college at eighteen. And have been living on my own since.

But these are different times. The rising costs of tuition and housing costs has a lot of young adults living at home.

Twenty years ago, annual tuition to attend a UC was about $5,000. Now in 2018, it’s more than $12,000.

Twenty years ago, you could rent a studio for $500. Now studios goes for about $2,000.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@seawulf575 Hey, if I had it all to do again and my mom wasn’t an alcoholic, I would have stayed on mama’s dole at least through college. :)

Now these folks (weirdos) living at home until 30 yrs old or so, I think that’s taking advantage unless you contribute monetarily to the mortgage, etc..

janbb's avatar

I went away to college at 18 but still would consider myself home-based until I graduated. Left home then at 22.

filmfann's avatar

I moved out at 22, a year after getting a job with the company I eventually retired from.

seawulf575's avatar

I have two at or above the age of 30 living at home right now. One is contributing, the other isn’t, but soon will. It amazes me. When I got old enough, I didn’t WANT to live with mom and dad. How embarrassing if you go to bring a girl home!

alcanzox's avatar

I had bounced around, starting when I was about 15 because I had an unhealthy relationship with my parents. Eventually, I lived independently when I turned 21. However, I had to move back in with my family recently, until I am able to finish school.
I live in the Bay Area.

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